The problem is that its the same story on any campus or lower school yards, churches, grocery stores, movies and on and on. I own a shotgun for home defense, and my daughter who lives with Mr owns a handgun. We still do not feel safe and fear for our other family members here. I would give up my guns, if every one else would; or I could trust the police to protect us. So will we ever get there? I am a pacifist but I feel so unsafe with my fellow Americans, that I armed myself against my. Desires.
a) I am against violence against human beings, regardless of political affiliation, etc.
b) My heart goes out to you, your daughter and family. I know all too well the heartache, the very pain that comes with such illness in our children, as we've discussed.
You are welcome, Erik, one loving Dad to another loving Dad.
Too often, yet understandably, we parents in such "situations" tend to beat ourselves up and feel strongly that we could have and should have done something different. We feel that we let our child down.
We often end up feeling helpless, powerless.
40 years later, I feel the same way.
Our children are suffering, and most commonly in such silence... we get the "I don't know whats, or whys"... which leaves us with the same internal turmoil because we don't know either, and we don't know how to best help our child.
However, we must stay strong to be there for our child on a moment's notice.
I hope that your daughter can come out of her shell, and work with you to find happiness and reason to smile and live life.
Truly dedicated gun owners who understand responsibility comes with that right mourn every single shooting because we know it could be avoided by having strict laws regarding background checks, education and general knowledge of the weapons before handing them out like candy. It's heartbreaking the lack of care we have for arming our citizens in general.
The gun nuts have so twisted the second amendment that it has become an offensive rather defensive tool. It was designed to actually protect the people from exactly what is occuring today with our government.
Rant all you want about this senseless lack of decency! I guess the amount of money paid by the gun lobbyist somehow lets the lawmakers sleep peacefully at night. We need to make it harder access to military weapons. They aren’t your grandpa’s hunting rifles. These are designed to kill humans.
The NRA has spent a whopping $40 million directly funding federal and state candidates, parties, and committees over the past 30 years, and a staggering $54 million in independent expenditures in 2016 alone, all in an effort to turn the debate around gun control measures into a toxic one!
Exactly like they did abortion and reproductive freedom. They care only for life that is not yet born. Once you are here they hate you, so they need their guns.
Also, Brenda and I are actually 2nd Amendment Democrats (we had to change our Party from Independent to Democrat due to existing in a severely Red State (FL) where only Democrats and Republicans can vote in the Primaries.)
Women, children and anyone of color and even anyone who "lives a different lifestyle", as well as anyone not Christian (yes, such as the Minnesota church school shooting happen, sadly).
Even the supposed "assassination attempts" on trump, the "alleged assassins" were White Republicans.
I am battling two female devout Catholic Cousins of mine over the Reproductive Rights for women, snd the 2nd Amendment and assault weapons.
Instead of “show me the money” it should be “show me how much you care” and dare to do the right thing for children, for this country. Dare to be primaried. Dare to do the right things for this country even if you won’t get reelected. Because that right there drives everything. And how dare you think that you are so important that the next person elected might not do a better job? If people believe in worth, it won’t matter who they run against you. Dare to be reelected for doing the best things for the future generations….
Access to any multi-round weapon should be highly restricted and regulated. The second amendment was created in a time of muskets and muzzleloaders. Clearly it is necessary to limit the wanton availability of such weapons. Who needs these for what reason? It’s time to stop this insanity.
I have a shotgun for protection because I live alone and I’m disabled and there’s two men out there that I don’t trust that I used to be involved with both with tempers and rage and I’m scared of them, but I have a security system too and I think that’s probably enough. I grew up around hunters so I’m used to seeing guns and when I lived in Arizona, I had guns, but my views have changed. They’ve changed because of the mass shootings in the amount of them they’ve changed because of our statistics compared to other countries in the amount of guns in the country they’ve changed because my husband put a gun in his mouth and shot himself in the head in 2014 and died after 17 years of marriage, making me a widow at 45 years old. Something needs to be done, but this is one that’s really hard fought. for all the mass shootings that have happened people shake their heads and drop their flowers light. Their candles in laws don’t change in Arizona. All you do is hand them a drivers license and if you’re not a felon, you can have any gun you want and any amount and you don’t register them I know because I live there for a long time decades My husband bought a gun and stuck it in his mouth and pulled the trigger would have found another way to kill himself if he couldn’t get a gun, perhaps, but that seemed like the easiest way out for him painless instant, and most of all surety.
I know this is a highly sensitive subject for many people. I am so sorry that your husband did that. Guns are such a difficult thing to manage. My problem with it is that nothing is being done. The government has the power to save 100s if not 1000's of lives if they would just use a little common sense and not bow to the alter of greed. This is what gets people killed. Again I am so sorry that happened to your husband. I could not imagine the trauma you have experienced. Thank you for being here. ❤️
Cindi, I agree that sending “thoughts and prayers” do nothing except make the people sending them feel good about themselves. I have some atheist friends who do the same thing. It’s meaningless and empty!
My daughter started classes at the University of Arkansas Monday morning and loved them. In mid-afternoon I got a text: “I’m safe in my dorm, but there’s an active shooter alert on campus.” By dinner time the situation had been investigated and found to be a false alarm, but classes were still canceled—on the first day! On Tuesday morning she texted my husband: “I want to transfer someplace closer to home.” She loves her classes, loves her church, and has made several friends, yet this incident has made her want to leave after a single week. WTH do we do with this?!?
When I was in college 30 years ago, the biggest danger for young women was walking alone on campus after an evening class. A quick call to one of my male friends to “escort” me home rendered that a non-issue. Now even our church has a protocol! It’s got lights that turn on automatically when they detect motion in the room, and the nursery through 4yo classrooms have in-room bathrooms that make good shelters (I guess the potty-trained kids are out of luck, but the classrooms for older kids now have drapes covering the small windows in each door…
I served in the nursery, and we had to learn (1) how to wedge the complicated, heavy blockade under the door, and (2) how to keep the toddlers from prying said blockade from the wall and braining themselves or other little guests that morning—not to mention the challenge of keeping very young children quiet and still in a large group in a small bathroom!
The classrooms for older children now have curtains draped over the tiny window in each door, but it’s the principle of the thing!
I keep thinking about Virginia Tech. That shooter was clearly unhinged, but Substack has numerous stories of young adults with autism and other neurodivergent issues who battle to (and succeed in!) overcoming their challenges and getting steady, albeit low-skilled and low-paying, jobs. Not everyone with mental issues goes on a shooting rampage! This also includes people who are sexually confused. In my family, there are homosexuals and trans individuals who have never even considered killing a bunch of innocent strangers and then themselves. Whether your child is eight or eighteen, identifying their body is heartbreaking.
When I told the family about my daughter’s trauma, my cousin’s Arkansas-born husband drawled at me, “She kin jest git herself her own gun fer pertection. Here’s what I ricommend…” NOT a good idea, Mr. Good Ole Boy! Not at all. I’d rather have my child alive and feeling safe at one of the numerous Maryland schools than jittery with a gun at Arkansas. My husband convinced her to stay for a year in the hope that she’d feel better about being there. I hope she not only *feels* safe but *is* safe.
Thanks for writing this essay from a father’s perspective, Liberaldad. We all need to hear it.
I can’t homeschool my daughter; our personalities are like oil and water, and her college major (Economics) is beyond my comprehension. But I understand your strategy and am grateful for your concern and advice. The surge in “active shooter” false alarms has fueled a name for it: Swatting. The reason? Law enforcement agencies need to respond to any report as if it’s real, and that type of situation requires deployment of a SWAT team. This is nearly the worst kind of copycat—the absolute worst being a repeat active shooter in another location. Of course, given my cousin’s husband’s response, a situation in Arkansas is a likely scenario!
The problem is that its the same story on any campus or lower school yards, churches, grocery stores, movies and on and on. I own a shotgun for home defense, and my daughter who lives with Mr owns a handgun. We still do not feel safe and fear for our other family members here. I would give up my guns, if every one else would; or I could trust the police to protect us. So will we ever get there? I am a pacifist but I feel so unsafe with my fellow Americans, that I armed myself against my. Desires.
My sentiments exactly
As always, Erik, I am with you 250%.
a) I am against violence against human beings, regardless of political affiliation, etc.
b) My heart goes out to you, your daughter and family. I know all too well the heartache, the very pain that comes with such illness in our children, as we've discussed.
Thank you Lance. Your comment shows up in my article called "Its the F'ing Guns"
If there is any way in which I can help, you have a friend and confident... feel free to message me.
I'm even willing to share emails privately with you if you prefer.
Thank you Lance your support has been so wonderful. Messaging works. I appreciate it.
Anytime, Erik.
You are welcome, Erik, one loving Dad to another loving Dad.
Too often, yet understandably, we parents in such "situations" tend to beat ourselves up and feel strongly that we could have and should have done something different. We feel that we let our child down.
We often end up feeling helpless, powerless.
40 years later, I feel the same way.
Our children are suffering, and most commonly in such silence... we get the "I don't know whats, or whys"... which leaves us with the same internal turmoil because we don't know either, and we don't know how to best help our child.
However, we must stay strong to be there for our child on a moment's notice.
I hope that your daughter can come out of her shell, and work with you to find happiness and reason to smile and live life.
Truly dedicated gun owners who understand responsibility comes with that right mourn every single shooting because we know it could be avoided by having strict laws regarding background checks, education and general knowledge of the weapons before handing them out like candy. It's heartbreaking the lack of care we have for arming our citizens in general.
Agreed
The gun nuts have so twisted the second amendment that it has become an offensive rather defensive tool. It was designed to actually protect the people from exactly what is occuring today with our government.
Rant all you want about this senseless lack of decency! I guess the amount of money paid by the gun lobbyist somehow lets the lawmakers sleep peacefully at night. We need to make it harder access to military weapons. They aren’t your grandpa’s hunting rifles. These are designed to kill humans.
You're right. These guns are designed to do nothing but destroy human beings
The NRA has spent a whopping $40 million directly funding federal and state candidates, parties, and committees over the past 30 years, and a staggering $54 million in independent expenditures in 2016 alone, all in an effort to turn the debate around gun control measures into a toxic one!
Exactly like they did abortion and reproductive freedom. They care only for life that is not yet born. Once you are here they hate you, so they need their guns.
It's gross
I am with you 100%. Join Moms Demand Action. We take dads too!
I will certainly take a look!
Also, Brenda and I are actually 2nd Amendment Democrats (we had to change our Party from Independent to Democrat due to existing in a severely Red State (FL) where only Democrats and Republicans can vote in the Primaries.)
G'mornin, Eric.
I'm totally in agreement with you.
Women, children and anyone of color and even anyone who "lives a different lifestyle", as well as anyone not Christian (yes, such as the Minnesota church school shooting happen, sadly).
Even the supposed "assassination attempts" on trump, the "alleged assassins" were White Republicans.
I am battling two female devout Catholic Cousins of mine over the Reproductive Rights for women, snd the 2nd Amendment and assault weapons.
Sounds like you guys have your hands full. All the best 💘
Thoughts and prayers? How about policy & change?
I like that much more
Instead of “show me the money” it should be “show me how much you care” and dare to do the right thing for children, for this country. Dare to be primaried. Dare to do the right things for this country even if you won’t get reelected. Because that right there drives everything. And how dare you think that you are so important that the next person elected might not do a better job? If people believe in worth, it won’t matter who they run against you. Dare to be reelected for doing the best things for the future generations….
Yes! The ability to be vulnerable is very lacking in today politics.
Access to any multi-round weapon should be highly restricted and regulated. The second amendment was created in a time of muskets and muzzleloaders. Clearly it is necessary to limit the wanton availability of such weapons. Who needs these for what reason? It’s time to stop this insanity.
Way past time to stop the madness.
I wholeheartedly agree sir
I have a shotgun for protection because I live alone and I’m disabled and there’s two men out there that I don’t trust that I used to be involved with both with tempers and rage and I’m scared of them, but I have a security system too and I think that’s probably enough. I grew up around hunters so I’m used to seeing guns and when I lived in Arizona, I had guns, but my views have changed. They’ve changed because of the mass shootings in the amount of them they’ve changed because of our statistics compared to other countries in the amount of guns in the country they’ve changed because my husband put a gun in his mouth and shot himself in the head in 2014 and died after 17 years of marriage, making me a widow at 45 years old. Something needs to be done, but this is one that’s really hard fought. for all the mass shootings that have happened people shake their heads and drop their flowers light. Their candles in laws don’t change in Arizona. All you do is hand them a drivers license and if you’re not a felon, you can have any gun you want and any amount and you don’t register them I know because I live there for a long time decades My husband bought a gun and stuck it in his mouth and pulled the trigger would have found another way to kill himself if he couldn’t get a gun, perhaps, but that seemed like the easiest way out for him painless instant, and most of all surety.
I know this is a highly sensitive subject for many people. I am so sorry that your husband did that. Guns are such a difficult thing to manage. My problem with it is that nothing is being done. The government has the power to save 100s if not 1000's of lives if they would just use a little common sense and not bow to the alter of greed. This is what gets people killed. Again I am so sorry that happened to your husband. I could not imagine the trauma you have experienced. Thank you for being here. ❤️
Thank you for all you do.
Gladly
Bravo!!! We need to study Australia's gun laws.
Absolutely. They have the right idea.
Cindi, I agree that sending “thoughts and prayers” do nothing except make the people sending them feel good about themselves. I have some atheist friends who do the same thing. It’s meaningless and empty!
My daughter started classes at the University of Arkansas Monday morning and loved them. In mid-afternoon I got a text: “I’m safe in my dorm, but there’s an active shooter alert on campus.” By dinner time the situation had been investigated and found to be a false alarm, but classes were still canceled—on the first day! On Tuesday morning she texted my husband: “I want to transfer someplace closer to home.” She loves her classes, loves her church, and has made several friends, yet this incident has made her want to leave after a single week. WTH do we do with this?!?
When I was in college 30 years ago, the biggest danger for young women was walking alone on campus after an evening class. A quick call to one of my male friends to “escort” me home rendered that a non-issue. Now even our church has a protocol! It’s got lights that turn on automatically when they detect motion in the room, and the nursery through 4yo classrooms have in-room bathrooms that make good shelters (I guess the potty-trained kids are out of luck, but the classrooms for older kids now have drapes covering the small windows in each door…
I served in the nursery, and we had to learn (1) how to wedge the complicated, heavy blockade under the door, and (2) how to keep the toddlers from prying said blockade from the wall and braining themselves or other little guests that morning—not to mention the challenge of keeping very young children quiet and still in a large group in a small bathroom!
The classrooms for older children now have curtains draped over the tiny window in each door, but it’s the principle of the thing!
I keep thinking about Virginia Tech. That shooter was clearly unhinged, but Substack has numerous stories of young adults with autism and other neurodivergent issues who battle to (and succeed in!) overcoming their challenges and getting steady, albeit low-skilled and low-paying, jobs. Not everyone with mental issues goes on a shooting rampage! This also includes people who are sexually confused. In my family, there are homosexuals and trans individuals who have never even considered killing a bunch of innocent strangers and then themselves. Whether your child is eight or eighteen, identifying their body is heartbreaking.
When I told the family about my daughter’s trauma, my cousin’s Arkansas-born husband drawled at me, “She kin jest git herself her own gun fer pertection. Here’s what I ricommend…” NOT a good idea, Mr. Good Ole Boy! Not at all. I’d rather have my child alive and feeling safe at one of the numerous Maryland schools than jittery with a gun at Arkansas. My husband convinced her to stay for a year in the hope that she’d feel better about being there. I hope she not only *feels* safe but *is* safe.
Thanks for writing this essay from a father’s perspective, Liberaldad. We all need to hear it.
It makes me so sad your child has to feel this way. How do you study with the fear of a gun owner wandering around all the time?
This is only my opinion and I don’t pretend to step in as the parent of your child. If it were me, I would get her the hell out of there.
I'm homeschooling my kid for this very reason and I live in "woke" New York. Thank you for sharing your story.
I can’t homeschool my daughter; our personalities are like oil and water, and her college major (Economics) is beyond my comprehension. But I understand your strategy and am grateful for your concern and advice. The surge in “active shooter” false alarms has fueled a name for it: Swatting. The reason? Law enforcement agencies need to respond to any report as if it’s real, and that type of situation requires deployment of a SWAT team. This is nearly the worst kind of copycat—the absolute worst being a repeat active shooter in another location. Of course, given my cousin’s husband’s response, a situation in Arkansas is a likely scenario!
Totally understandable