Finally...

A poem to my oldest daughter

Photo by Peyman Shojaei on Unsplash

They said it was fine,
It happens all the time
Anna will latch
Once she's hungry enough to snack

We saw her gait
And it gave us pause
She was walking late
But she rose to applause

She cried so easy,
We said "she feels too much"
She was easily hurt by her friends;
they thought "she was lame"
I thought to myself 'am I to blame?'

I wanted her to play soccer
But she was no athlete.
I said "get back out there!"
"Is there something wrong with your feet?"

I was concerned...

She isolated more and more, as we
watched her friends go out the door.
Her friends grew up at a faster rate and we thought "that's too hard to estimate."

We thought she was just immature 
But then again, we just were not sure.
So we took her to the doc 
And they brushed us off on the spot.

But we said "she's so anxious, she ruminates."
Doc said "here you go, this should calm down those states."
"What about those depression bouts. 
It's not just screams and shouts."

"I've had to restrain her on the floor
As she tried to run out the front door.
It wasn’t meant to be mean,
But we didn't want to make a scene."

My heart breaks for my little girl
As she tries to connect with the outside world.

I try my best as does Mom. Sometimes we struggle; because of the struggle, so long.

Finally,

Finally after seventeen years, and 
Thousands of dollars for doctors telling us not to fear.

We have an answer that we suspected for so long.
Autism is the name of her struggles, she said "it was a relief to put a name to these puzzles."
 
Yes, the name is just a label 
But it certainly doesn’t mean she's unable.
Sometimes, giving it a name can help make things more stable. 

Thank you everybody for reading to the end. I thought I would put myself out there with a little poem.
I know it's not my regular type of article. Hopefully it doesn't suck. If it does, that's okay.

I love you guys.

Erik

(Liberaldad)


**Daughter's name changed for privacy reasons**